After everyone had packed their bags, Zhang Yi Feng said to Wu Litao, “Welcome new comrades, do you know several of us?”
Dock Litao: “The director’s team gave me the list, I looked at it and roughly knew each other.”
Yuan Heng: “You have to read the list to know us, how unpopular are we?”
Wu Litao: “Li Tiezhu I still know, Liu Yuan I also know, brother you I also saw on TV.”
Yuan Heng looks down at Guo Xiao Xi and Zhang Yi Feng: “He said you guys are over the top.”
Wu Litao: “I didn’t say that, it’s just that they’re not too famous.”
Guo Xiao Xi: “Hiss! You haven’t seen Yu Ji? You don’t even know Mr Zhang Yi Feng?”
Wu Li Tao: “I never watch films, it costs money.”
Guo Xiaoxi: “……”
At this point in the programme, a three-minute video of Wu Litao’s “enlistment” is shown.
He’s also one of the Returned Four Sons, usually considered to be used to make up the numbers because the Fourth Son is better than the Third Son, and also because he’s the worst at mixing it up. Although his family was rich, they just didn’t have any resources. Moreover, those three had masterpieces anyways, Deer Hani and Yi Xing had Li Tiezhu to help write their songs, and the other one also had a big bowl of jail noodles as well.
The day before yesterday, he suddenly received a notice from the programme team to fill in for “Real Men”, packed up his luggage and felt the recruiting company, just in time to see Du Haibo quit and the other five were sent away.
Yesterday, he was alone in the Recruit Company and received training, practising everything from formation and physical training to live-fire target shooting. And, he also pissed off the instructor and squad leader, a man who blended Yuan Heng’s prickliness, Li Tiezhu’s smooth abduction, and Du Haibo’s war five dregs physique.
Early this morning, he came here to join everyone.
Pop-up:
“Towers do you want to laugh me to death?”
“This programme can actually see Duk Li Towers?”
“The man with his own smoky make-up.”
“God damn watching a film costs money, this one comes with the attribute of iron words.”
“Isn’t this much more powerful than that fat guy?”
“Want to see Li Tiezhu dislike him.”
“Don’t worry, it will come.”
Not long after, the class leader came in and called for assembly, the six people hurriedly clapped into a row and stood.
Squad leader: “Next, everyone put on the training uniform ……”
BARRY ……
Two cylindrical objects, fell from the docking force Towers clothes, rolled on the ground.
The squad leader fixed his eyes on them, “Nunchucks?”
Dock Litao stood straight.
The other five couldn’t help but forcefully stifle their laughter.
Li Tiezhu: “Pfft~”
Usually he was the one who made others laugh on the show, but this time he really couldn’t hold it in.
The other few had originally held back their laughter, but by the sound of Li Tiezhu’s laughter, they also laughed.
The class president came to Wu Litao and said, “What are the nunchucks for? Hit me?”
Dock Litao are amused by the squad leader: “Hey …… no, not ……”
Class president: “What are you doing here?”
Wulitao: “I came to be a soldier, they informed me I came.”
Squad leader: “I thought you came to beat me.”
Li Tiezhu: “Goosey ……”
Wu Litao: “I don’t beat you, I came to beat Li Tiezhu.”
The squad leader looked at Li Tiezhu: “Then I reckon you can’t beat it.”
Wu Litao: “That’s why I brought nunchucks.”
Li Tiezhu: “???”
As if hearing someone trying to beat me up?
Pop-up:
“Blind guess the next show will be interesting.”
“Nuts, right? Bringing nunchucks?”
“Hit me?”
“Laughing out loud.”
“There’s no one else in this class president.”
“The class monitor is so funny.”
“Beat up Li Tiezhu? You’re tired of living, aren’t you?”
“Serious brother was made to laugh.”
“This national defence programme right, it should be serious ……”
“Real recruits are even funnier than this, there are all sorts of weirdos.”
“Real recruits can make you die of laughter, they are considered good.”
“Have you seen the ones who practice baton drill with ham hocks?”
Wu Litao skimmed Li Tiezhu not far away and said sheepishly, “I brought it to practice, can’t I practice nunchucks when I’m resting?”
Squad leader: “Pick it up.”
Wu Litao: “What for?”
Class monitor: “Pick it up.”
Wuli Tao shook his head.
The class monitor glares angrily at him, and the programme team later writes: “A look of encouragement”.
Wuli Tao was so scared that he picked it up immediately, with an apprehensive look on his face.
Then, Wu Litao was called to the front of the group to perform nunchucks, the second hit to the crotch, and then flung a few nunchucks fell, fell to the feet of Li Tiezhu.
The crowd burst into laughter.
Wu Li Tao humble: “Brother Zhu, you don’t move, I’ll pick up …… it.”
Li Tiezhu had subconsciously picked up the nunchucks and was ready to return it to Dock Litao.
Dock Litao shrank back, “Sent you, first time meeting no respect.”
Li Tiezhu: “???”
Wu Litao: “Reporting to the squad leader, the performance is over!”
Squad leader: “……”
Your weapons are in the hands of the enemy, and you’re still here to beat Li Tiezhu? Who’s beating who?
The squad leader asked, “Why did you come to fight Li Tiezhu?”
Wu Litao: “No, it’s Deer Hani told me, said let me bring a weapon for defence, Li Tiezhu is too dangerous. Yi Xing said Li Tiezhu strength is big, it is best to bring a soft weapon is not good to block the kind, nine joints whip or something is not good to buy, I brought nunchucks.”
Squad leader: “Li Tiezhu, you come to perform.”
Li Tiezhu stood to the front, a set of nunchucks danced tigerishly, the system also fucking dinged, improvised and sang: “Quickly use the nunchucks humming hee hee hee ……”
Finish playing and call it a day.
Dooly Towers madly applauded: “Good! The song I like, I don’t mind if you give it to me.”
Li Tiezhu gave him a blank look.
The squad leader took the nunchucks, “Worthy of having kung fu, the nunchucks are very good.”
Li Tiezhu: “Thank you, squad leader, for the compliment.”
Squad Leader: “How do you know how to Shunquan?”
Li Tiezhu: “……”
Wu Litao: “Report! Shun abduction is because the body is not coordinated.”
Li Tiezhu: “How do you exercise body coordination?”
“Dance.”
“I don’t know how to dance, I’m going to fall if I dance.”
“That’s bad coordination.”
“How to exercise coordination?”
“Learn to dance.”
“……”
Li Tiezhu looked at Wu Litao with a despondent face, you damn well said the same as you didn’t.
The squad leader let Li Tiezhu return to the queue and said, “Don’t listen to him, I watched the training video, and Dock Litao also shun abduction.”
Dock Litao: “……”
Pop-up:
“Li Tiezhu and Dock Litao can carry the laughs of the entire show!”
“These two are so weird together.”
“Two simpletons ……”
“I cracked my fucking mask.”
“What mask cracked?”
“How did the new class president hold back?”
“Liu Yuan is all pumped up with laughter.”
“My nima, watching a programme and hearing a new song from Brother Serious?”
“For the first time, I found out that Duk Li Tao is so funny.”
“God damn send you, good goat ah!”
“You’re teaching others even though you’re a Shunquan yourself.”
In the end, the class president returned the nunchucks to Wu Litao and put them away, informing everyone that they had two minutes to change into their training uniforms and go to the school grounds to gather.
Naturally, everyone again did not finish on time, and the squad leader had already changed, called off the group and began to lecture.
After saying a whole lot, he said, “Don’t make any excuses, how can you be a soldier if you can’t do something as simple as changing clothes?”
Li Tiezhu: “Report!”
Squad leader: “Speak!”
Li Tiezhu: “Squad leader your training clothes have not been changed, you are wearing a shirt inside, that is the regular clothes.”
Squad leader: “……”
Everyone fixed their eyes on it, and sure enough, the squad leader didn’t have time to change either!
This is a bit awkward.
Wulitao’s eyes rolled: “Report!”
Squad Leader: “Speak!”
He subconsciously looked down at himself, did something go wrong again?
Wu Litao said, “My trousers are about to fall down, can I lift my trousers?”
Squad Leader: “Yes.”
The crowd stifled their laughter.
Squad leader: “I’m training you, so I don’t need a full set of training clothes, but since you brought it up, I’ll accept it with an open mind. Here, I’ll give you all another minute to get dressed.”
After saying that, the squad leader went out again, and the people in the room quickly changed their clothes.
After changing their clothes everyone was brought to the schoolyard by the squad leader, and did warm-up training with the soldiers of the other squads, all of which were some very basic movements.
Originally this was a platoon, after adding Li Tiezhu and a few of them, it was close to forty people.
When it comes to jumping goat, five “veterans” have sighed in their hearts, fortunately Du Haibo left, otherwise he would not give him an ass to sit dead? Especially the old man Zhang Yifeng, his heart palpitates, if Du Haibo is here, his old arms and legs, maybe he will be crippled.
The platoon leader said, “Next, take off your clothes for training. Take off your clothes!”
The six artists watched blankly as the soldiers undressed and followed suit, it was so hard to put on, and then take off?
After taking off their training uniforms, there was only a sweatshirt inside, and they were still taking it off?
It’s so cold ……
The programme team put up subtitles later: the outdoor temperature is 5 degrees Celsius.
In fact, the weather in April has begun to warm up, however, the temperature in this western military camp is still very low because of the geographical environment.
Without saying a word, Li Tiezhu stripped off his clothes, revealing his tanned and strong body, and his eight-pack abs were particularly eye-catching. Yes, originally he was six-pack abs, but in order to come to participate in this programme, he specifically trained into eight-pack.
Song Zhu’er said, “What if there’s going to be a segment where you have to take off your clothes? It really got her right.
Pop-up:
“Wow shit! There’s actually this perk?”
“Screenshot!”
“Ready to lick ……”
“Soldier brothers have good bodies.”
“Li Tiezhu’s eight-pack abs ……”
“Drool!”
“It’s true that the ones with good bodies are handed over to the state.”
“This programme is called Real Abs.”
“Luckily Du Haibo is gone, don’t want to see meatballs.”
“Liu Yuan’s younger brother is so thin and white that he glows.”
“Shy me ……”
“Wow, teacher Zhang Yi Feng’s body is absolute, not inferior to Li Tiezhu.”
“Old Zhang showing his body, hahaha!”
“Serious brother is so pink.”
“Isn’t it tanned skin?”
“She’s not talking about skin, pay attention to the close-up.”
“Eek ja~”
Next up was the cold resistance training, where all the soldiers scrambled up to the front for the Ice Bucket Challenge, which was ice cubes with water added to them, and doused their bodies with it.
This was a ritual unique to the Company of Heroes.
Yuan Heng’s eyes popped out as he watched, this is a nasty tease? Laozi is dying of cold right now, he wanted to speak, but thought forget it, the instructor of the Recruit Company’s high fever does not return to take everyone to train.
Guo Xiaoxi is also a little scared, but his expression is still resolute.
Dock Litao, however, said, “Report!”
Platoon Commander: “Speak!”
Dock Litao: “Can I not get my hair wet when I get wet?”