Glancing up at the kitchen, with its dark but fragrant knobs of exotic food, Odin’s eyes hardened; he had thought he was prepared for anything, and he hadn’t expected Ain’t Pella Lee to kick his arse with the show Farking Primitives.
I …… have not mastered the ultimate mystery of survival!
On the computer screen, Iain Pella Lee was introducing his beans to the fat and thin two guests, soaked for twelve hours, and for this reason, he came to the show a day and night in advance.
Odin’s eyes suddenly changed: “Dawa I’m still wrong! So it turns out that soybeans need to be soaked, eh! It’s not too late for that either.”
Muttering and pausing the tank video, he went to soak the soybeans.
Odin, once in love with chainsaws, was now enamoured with the mystical wisdom from the ancient East, they were so natural yet so magical.
It’s funny, where am I going to find the electricity to charge my chainsaw after the end of the world?
Besides, after the end of the world, we all have to live, but not only to live, we have to rebuild the glory of mankind!
Living is not about living, living is about building and developing.
Odin, the bald tattooed hunk, knelt on the kitchen floor and carefully pulled out the small pink bucket and began to soak the beans, squeezing both hands into orchid fingers from too much concentration.
His knees hurt a little and he couldn’t help but think, damn, why is it only East Asians do the Asian squat?
This is discrimination from God!
After soaking the soya beans, he re-entered the room, scanning the medals and medals of various survival competitions on the wall, he suddenly felt his cheeks rolling. As a staunch doomsayer, it was so embarrassing that he had spent his good time hunting, fighting and eating all kinds of bugs.
A truly powerful doomsday faction should be elegantly gnawing on smoked sausages and dueling with zombies after the apocalypse has fallen, should be lying in the middle of the ruins in the most beautiful cabin stewing mushrooms, and should be using chopsticks to pick up a piece of quivering tofu while others were eating raw meat and bugs ……
This, then, is truly powerful!
Austin Jabbar, one of the backbones of the Rice Doomsdayers, doomsdayers who believe that the end will eventually come and that the entire planet faces a reboot.
They had even built hidden hideouts in the mountains and deserts, stocked with all kinds of tools, weapons and compressed food. Even Odin himself has a basement underneath this small two-storey building that contains enough stuff to fend off a zombie invasion and survive for three months.
However, now that Odin’s mind was gradually changing, as the show Fark Primitive had given him new inspiration, he had stocked his basement with condiments and fuel, and of course, cooking utensils.
After all, who knows?
What if …… what if zombies are delicious?
Spicy Zombie, Boiled Zombie, Zombie Sausage, Zombie Mushroom Soup, Charcoal Grilled Zombie ……
In that case, the food problem is solved, and also, zombies air-dried can be used as fuel or something, and if they are hard enough they can even be used as building materials, it’s just a wonderful cycle!
Thanks to Ayn Peira Lee for the inspiration.
Returning to his computer desk, Odin didn’t immediately move on to the show, despite being very curious about the process of making tofu, he was a strict man.
He pulled out the thick notebook with the title page reading:
“Aien Pella Lee Apocalypse!”
“Thank you, you are the true light of doom! If we survive, we’ll build temples for you! –Daeva Stay.”
Turning to the latest page, Odin wrote:
“Tofu is made by first soaking dried soybeans in water for twelve hours ……”
After taking detailed notes, Odin took out a plastic bag, pulled out a few carefully trimmed tobacco leaves from it, meticulously wrapped them up, and then inserted them into his pipe, took a lighter and lit it, and barred it fiercely for a couple of puffs.
“Ahem …… really good! Cigars from the East, although the flavour is a little bit punchy, but this is what a man should smoke. I must recommend him to the other members of the Doomsday Faction, well, a gift from Chuanxi …… great leaf smoke!”
Smoking a dry cigarette, Odin continued to watch the programme on his computer and paused it from time to time, pulling out his notebook to take careful notes, devout as a believer. And on his chest, hanging a pendant, the image of an oriental anime hero character – Hulu Wa Dawa.
……
Li Tiezhu had not yet begun to make tofu when he heard a donkey braying, and ran out of the yard to take a look and was overjoyed.
Yi Xing was startled: “Brother! Your expression is too hideous, I’m afraid, the donkey is also afraid, hahaha ……”
Huang Sanshi: “I’m scared too, so scared that my mouth is watering.”
He Ling: “I’m so scared that my stomach is rumbling.”
Li Tiezhu went up and slapped the donkey’s arse: “Hello! My name is Li Tiezhu!”
Donkey: “Mmm anon~”
Li Tiezhu looked at Huang Sanshi: “You guys brought this?”
Huang Sanshi: “I got it from the Yi Xing raffle, good luck, right? Teacher He and I are rather lame, I drew a bottle of rapeseed oil and Teacher He drew two canned oranges.”
Zheng Yan Zi comes over to ride the donkey, the donkey refuses and even tries to kick her, she backhanded her with two slaps, hitting the donkey until he doubts his life.
At this point, she glared at the donkey and said, “The things that were drawn were good ah! Rapeseed oil is what we need most right now, we’re tired of eating lard, and Tie Zhu wants to go to the mountains to pick tea fruits to hand-pick oil. Canned goods are even better! What we lack most is bottles that can bees.”
He Ling spat at Yi Xing, “Tie Zhu has gone berserk! I can’t believe I’m squeezing my own oil …… It’s still good for the Mushroom House.”
Yi Xing: “Oh, sure, if I came to the 10th episode of this show, I think I might die.”
Huang Sanshi: “What do you need jars for? Didn’t you guys make a lot of bamboo jars?”
Jung Yeon Zi says, “To make kimchi.”
Hwang Sanshi nodded, “Right! This can be had.”
Next, Li Tiezhu began to make tofu, operating at a fast pace with few shots. After all, domestic viewers weren’t really interested in the boring tofu making process, preferring the interaction between guests and the acquisition of new items.
Not long after, Li Tiezhu had sent Qin Tao to grind bean juice by the river, and Zheng Yanzi went up the mountain to pick green peppercorns. He was peeling sweet potatoes.
He Ling said, “Are we eating dried sweet potatoes for dinner today?”
Li Tiezhu shook his head decisively, “No! This is for making vermicelli, fern root flour. There are many ferns in the mountains, we’ll go up the mountain to dig them up this afternoon. Teacher Huang?”
Huang Sanshi, who was feeding the chicks, looked up, “Hey?”
Li Tiezhu: “Let’s keep it simple for lunch, how about one pot of beanflower, one serving of fried bean sprouts, fried bacon with garlic, and two sausages?”
Huang Sanshi subconsciously walked towards the kitchen, took a kitchen knife to cut the sausage: “Okay!”
To the side of the water tank, with a bamboo ladle to scoop water to wash the sausages, Huang Sanshi only reacted: “Not right ah! Why am I cooking? This is not my home turf!”
Yi Xing laughed, “When Tie Zhu went to the mushroom house, wasn’t it just as natural?”
On the other hemisphere of the Earth, Slammer Austin narrowed his eyes when he saw this, this fat man looked like he was extremely capable of surviving as well, could it be that he was also a high level player?
Not quite like that, right?
When he saw Huang Sanshi’s skilful knife skills slicing bacon, he knew he was wrong, this one really was an expert.
Only to see, Huang Sanshi quickly sliced the bacon into thin slices, and went to the old bamboo house to fetch half a catty of bean sprouts out to wash.
Dawa Odin covered his head with both hands, ”Damn! Am I missing something amazing? Why …… why can vegetables grow in a pitch black room? Or so tender and crunchy looking! I don’t believe this is magic!”
Well, the show’s crew cleared him up.
The show was replayed, and after the recording of the show ended a week ago, Li Tiezhu started to prepare for the arrival of the three people from the Mushroom House, half of the three pounds of soybeans were used to make tofu, and the other half was used to sprout bean sprouts.
Germinating bean sprouts is a relatively simple thing to do, but it needs the help of the show’s crew. During the time that Li Tiezhu is no longer there, the staff has to go watering at all times and control the inflow of light, otherwise the bean sprouts will grow roots and leaves ……
Dawa watched and immediately paused, and learned another divine skill from the East, it is said that a catty of beans can send out four or five pounds of bean sprouts, and the conditions are a little worse than three pounds, it is simply McKeeker – magic.
Hurry to pull out a small notebook to remember.
Then, making tofu began, and Dawa was even more mesmerised.
The chubby man and Ainpura worked skilfully together, boiling the bean juice in a large pot and ladling it into a mesh pocket held up by a gauze (white shirt), while Ainpura shook a stand that had fallen from a beam.
“This step is filtering! Filtering the fibres from the soybeans! That must be it, it looks like the tofu is made from the fibrous stuff left in the pockets, they are the curds ……”
Dawa drifted off, ready to start taking notes, and then got hit in the face again.
Slap-…
One bamboo tube of soya milk for each person, with sugar on top, and a few of the guests drink up.
Huang Sanshi asked, ”Well, these soya bean dregs can be taken to feed the donkeys! But Tie Zhu, do you have brine here? Or gypsum will do, otherwise, how will this soya milk solidify into tofu?”
Dawa dropped his pen, “Damn! The fibre stuff is actually used to feed the donkeys? Soya milk is the material for tofu? But how can it coagulate? Sounds like a chemistry experiment.”
Li Tiezhu said, “None of that, but we have white vinegar, it’s in the seasoning that Deerhani brought last time.”
He Ling held the soya milk and said indistinctly, “Teacher Huang, I know! This is our Xiangnan vinegar-water tofu, right? Besides brine and plaster, vinegar can also be used to order tofu!”
Yi Xing: “Is vinegar okay?”
He Ling: “Saeki, are you from Xiangnan or not? You don’t even know this?”
Vinegar?
In front of the computer screen, Dawa Odin Jabbar also dropped the laptop in his hand, and again and again showed a sceptical expression, “No! Must be joking, I’ve heard a Chinese saying brine point tofu one thing to another, I’ve never heard of vinegar can also ah!”
Dawa even more nervous, watching a variety show to see a thriller and doomsday film guts and creepy, which if it is true, it will be a god-like invention. But he did not dare to believe, always feel that vinegar this kind of thing is too common, it is impossible to be so magical, until ……
Until Li Tiezhu will be white vinegar point into the pot of soybean milk at the moment, bald Odin hands pulled his non-existent hair: “Oh buy Karde, Karde Pris …… Fark!”