Butter, vegetable oil, ginger, garlic, bean paste stir-fried, under the dry chili, dry pepper, edamame and a variety of spices, throw a rock sugar, a little old soya sauce, soya sauce, a little vinegar, under the washed crayfish stir-fried, and then add beer …… There is no beer, ah, unfortunately, can only be added to the water boiled.
Cook for ten minutes, out of the pot, the aroma is full of, spicy and refreshing.
The sun is about to set, six people sitting around the pergola peeling crayfish, cosy.
Li Tiezhu inserted four turpentine torches around the pergola and lit two candles inside.
Yi Xing: “When will you return the mobile phone? The programme team has confiscated it for a day, it’s very insecure ah!”
Qin Tao said, “I’ll return it after dinner, if there are urgent calls and messages, your assistant will come to you with the phone.”
He Ling asked, “There’s no electricity here, what do you guys do at night? Just looking at your mobile phones?”
Zheng Yanzi ate a small bowl of hot and sour noodles that Li Tiezhu had cooked separately for her, “Playing mahjong! Xiong Da made a pair of mahjongs with bamboo, and the six of us will play bloodshed at night!”
More than four catties of shrimp balls froze and were dried up by six people, five to be exact.
Zheng Yan Zi only ate a few symbolically, and then went off to eat boiled chicken bręąsts in silence, even under these circumstances, her physical state did not deteriorate.
So, she also wanted the tractor to become a self-disciplined donkey, which belonged to her old mother’s fistful of earnest expectations.
“Missy!”
“Touch!”
“Touch again?”
“Four, do you touch?”
“No, I’ll touch it!”
“Nine?”
“Hoop, triple.”
Zheng Yeon Zi card skills first-class, sitting at the head of his Yi Xing lost sadly, but other people are very happy, fortunately, and Yi Xing teacher is good at pointing guns, do not give Zheng Yeon Zi self-touch opportunity, dead Taoist friends do not die of poverty.
Mahjong is made of bamboo boards, very rough, but also very small, only nougat so big, but this does not affect the enthusiasm of everyone playing cards.
Jung Yeon Jil, who played cards, started to swipe her mobile phone, and Song Zhu’er, the psychopath, harassed her again.
“Two cakes. Eh? Teacher Hwang, is this considered public gambling?”
He Ling asked.
Huang Sanshi touched a tile and said, “How can playing mahjong in Xichuan be called gambling? It’s called following the customs of the countryside! Feel the traditional culture of the Xichuan people. Right Tie Zhu? Six cylinders.”
Li Tiezhu nodded: “Of course! We all know that our programme’s ratings aren’t too high at home, but it’s very hot abroad, we call it showing foreigners the charm of our national culture. Five bars.”
Qin Tao: “Woo! All foreign friends in front of the TV, quickly log on to the three da not slip point mahjong point Kang mother, learn how to play mahjong! We recommend learning how to play Chuannan bloodbath with seven cards per person, this is the easiest. Mahjong, is really a home travelling and dating party must have a god weapon!”
Zheng Yanzi: “So, where can I buy mahjong?”
Qin Tao: “This is a good question, just now on that website, not only can you learn how to play, but also online shopping mahjong oh!”
That’s right, this segment was an implanted advert for a certain website, only once, specifically to make money from foreigners. In addition to the oral broadcast, the URL was also typed out at the bottom of the screen.
Pop-ups:
“Crap! That implant caught me off guard.”
“God damn essential artefacts ……”
“A good French Open Champion, froze by Li Tiezhu and Qin Tao brought to run away.”
“Turned into a joke.”
“How do you know that Research Purple is being led astray? They have been classmates for three years, and it’s not certain who is leading who astray.”
“They should be like-minded to be so close.”
The next day, Li Tiezhu and the others carried bamboo covers to cover a lot of fish, Zheng Yan Zi took the leftover crayfish shells from everyone last night and fed them to the tractor, the donkey almost didn’t die on the spot from the spice.
Just as Li Tiezhu and Huang Sanshi were making tofu milk, the airdrop came again, sent by Peng Yu Chang, who didn’t come to the show.
Huang San Shi and He Ling answered the video call, Zheng Yan Zi and Yi Xing went to get the air drop, get back when Peng Yu Chang has hung up the phone, otherwise, Zheng Yan Zi will have to scold him, this is all what luck ah!
In addition to a little bit of ginger and chilli, the rest is all sorghum, a full fifteen pounds.
Huang Sanshi: “This is good, the next guest can eat sorghum rice.”
He Ling: “The next instalment is Metamorphosis ……”
Li Tiezhu said, “Not eating sorghum rice is astringent to the throat. Let’s start brewing wine with sorghum in the next instalment! About four or five pounds of white wine can be brewed.”
When he saw this, Odin lit another oriental cigar with a gleam of wisdom in his eyes, “Finally brewing wine? Hmph! Since you’re sincere in your science, I’ll begrudgingly learn it ……”
In addition to the time, Li Tiezhu found two round stones by the river and used a burin to beat out a stone mill.
The stone mill is not big, more than thirty centimetres in diameter, only the size of a basin, but it is enough.
The donkey didn’t get the chance to pull the mill, the stone mill was mounted next to the waterwheel by the river, the power linkage could be switched between the coffee machine and the stone mill, use the stone mill if you grind a lot, use the coffee machine if you grind less and finer.
While others collaborated on pickled ginger and pickled chillies, and …… dried salted fish.
In the afternoon, the last hours of the programme, the three primitives and the three mushrooms sat together in the pergola drinking milk tea.
He Ling said, “Tie Zhu, with this house yard and resources, you guys are afraid that in a few more instalments, you’ll surpass the Mushroom House, why do I feel that this place is so suitable for recording the Mushroom House?”
Yi Xing: “I quite like it here too.”
Huang Sanshi said, “You three go for it, it’s called primitive people planting trees and mushroom houses taking advantage of the cool! Hahaha! Wherever they build it, our future programmes will follow it, without spending a penny. They can also make more bacon sausages and salted fish and stuff, we’ll eat them directly when we come, haha ……”
This was of course a joke, it was still two separate programmes after all.
Li Tiezhu did not fry the hot pot base until the beginning, but carefully preserved those condiments, because now the ingredients are too scarce, and it is meaningless to fry them.
Could …… the hot pot cook bacon?
This period of the programme also ended, Huang Sanshi smuggled away three sections of sausages, and He Ling took a packet of fern root powder. Yi Xing is the most simple, embarrassed to ask for something, Li Tiezhu directly sent him a piece of bacon.
After all, Yi Xing’s contribution was the greatest, it brought the donkey.
Also from this episode, the Primitive Tribe formed a new rule, giving the guests a little gift every episode.
Dawa Odin watched the show with the attitude of an online class, and after the show ended, he rewound and paused and took a screenshot of Li Tiezhu carving the stone grinding texture.
After the destruction of the world, the computer naturally can’t be used.
So, Odin traced it up on his laptop very carefully, and he did so by first laying the computer monitor flat, and then covering the monitor with a page of paper and tracing it stroke by stroke.
“These textures are so beautiful, each stroke radiates intelligence!”
Ortin couldn’t help but admire.
This was an eight-zone stone mill, with a circular hole punched out from the centre of the mill as the axis, eight straight stripes divided the circular mill into eight sectors, and then parallel patterns were chiseled along the cutting lines; these teeth patterns were found on both the upper and lower mills, and they had to be in the same direction.
The direction in which the teeth patterns are aligned and the direction of the bevelled angle of the entrance determine whether this is a clockwise or anti-clockwise turning stone mill.
Breathtaking skill and ingenuity!
Actually, there are stone mills in the West, not the same as in the East, but just as effective, except that Odin doesn’t really know anything about it.
The programme was recorded two more times in the following half a month.
The primitive family had last night the brewing process, raised a few more ducks, tamped down the yard, landscaped the interior, and reclaimed a few more vegetable plots.
And the best part is ……
Li Tiezhu’s trap caught a few hares, ate two, and raised the remaining four.
In late August, Li Tiezhu, Zheng Yanzi and Qin Tao, accompanied by Zhang Xiaomeng’s team, boarded a plane to the United States of America.
They were going to participate in a live interview programme on the international television station in the United States of America, and originally planned to go before Fark Primitive was broadcast in the United States of America, but it turned out that the television station’s own schedule didn’t work out, so that it was a few weeks late.
This is a flight from the United States, so that Qin Tao has long been ready to see the rice stewardess paper towels almost threw up. Flight attendants” on the flight are black and strong, big waist, age can be Qin Tao’s mother.
Fourteen hours later, the plane landed in the cosmopolitan city of Lok San Chicken.
Tired line of people yawning out of the airport, and then was shocked.
Dozens of media outlets swarmed to interview Li Tiezhu’s trio, and even more hundreds of ordinary people gathered outside the airport holding up all kinds of signs to welcome them, with quite a few airport security guards maintaining order.
What the hell?
Our programme has only medium to high ratings in China, and has been spat on miserably, why is it a different picture here?
Zheng Yan Zi’s English is very good, after listening to the media’s demands, and Zhang Xiaomeng discussed, think to accept a short interview, she acted as a translator.
The reporter asked Jung Yeonji, “Why did you give up the Wimbledon tournament to record this programme? Is it to turn to the entertainment industry in the future?”
Jung Yeon Zee: “No, it’s just that I haven’t trained for the grass court yet, so there will be plenty of opportunities in the future.”
“Ayn Bae Ra Lee, as far as I know, the show Primitive Man is a show that your company started on its own, why? Why would you think of making a show like this? After all, this programme’s ratings in your country aren’t too high.”
“We overestimated ourselves! Thought it would be a big hit, but we were slapped in the face, luckily, our crooked friends liked it.”
“You’re hot in the West, have you considered coming over to Hollywood to develop?”
“I’d consider it if Hollywood front and backstage learnt Chinese, otherwise they wouldn’t understand me when I speak and they’d have an inferiority complex.”
“Haven’t you ever considered learning English?”
“Ah! Never considered it.”
“I heard you’re planning to create your own fashion brand? Can you reveal it?”
“It’s not really fashion, the brand is called ‘Primitive Man’, it’s to sell some purely natural things, straw shoes, straw raincoat, bucket hats, straw hats, bamboo chairs, linen tunic and so on, I guess, it’s still in the planning stage, it hasn’t opened yet.”
“Please ask ……”
At this time, not far away from the crowd suddenly appeared a commotion, a bearded bald man rushed out, turned his back towards Li Tiezhu and took off his trousers. He moved so skilfully that it was heartbreaking, and in the blink of an eye, he revealed half of his buttocks and slapped it:
“Hey! Li, hey M’otin, can you please sign this for me? On my full bum! Comme ang bei ni ni!”