Pah-pah-pah.
Odin slapped his tanned buttocks twice more, and winked at Li Tiezhu with a come on, I’m ready expression.
Li Tiezhu …… was stupid!
Qin Tao was shocked that Zheng Yanzi was not shy and pushed Li Tiezhu to give him an autograph.
Fortunately, the security guards reacted quickly and directly carried the exhibitionist away, and even if they were carried away, the old slut named Odin was still shouting:
“Lee! Ai la uh yo~ I love your show, you’re the only light in our hearts! Brothers! Say hello to our ‘Light of Doom’!”
Thus, dozens of differently shaped humanoid creatures in the crowd shouted in unison:
“Have faith in the light! Aien Pella Lee will lead us through the darkness to a brilliant tomorrow! Hula-”
This is definitely not a proper gang by any means.
Not only was the Chinese programme team dumbfounded, the reporters were also dumbfounded and turned their lenses to shoot, while the other hundreds of people who also greeted Li Tiezhu and his party were also dumbfounded, looking at the dozens of mavericks with faggy eyes ……
There seems to be something strange mixed in among us fans!
In fact, the flight schedule of Li Tiezhu and others was not announced to the public, and the outside world only knew that it was this day. Therefore, these hundreds of people on the scene were already non-trivial, and they were most likely waiting here from early in the morning.
Even in the country, Li Tiezhu had never been treated so grandly, because he never spent money on hiring someone to pick him up.
Taking advantage of the time when the reporters were filming the fans who were picking up the plane, Jung Yeon Zi snickered and translated the meaning on the signs those people were holding up to Li Tie Zhu, who was so embarrassed that he had no place to go.
“Oriental Mike?”
“Your one-eyed squinty eyes are beyond sexy! Would love to have a shot with you.”
“Your songs are mesmerising!”
“The best songwriter alive in the world.”
“A musical genie from the Far East!”
“The Chosen One of the fashion world.”
“Welcome to the Fallen Chicken, my prince!”
“Oi er Comme! Chase your dreams Red Child Soul! (Welcome, dream-chasing red-boy soul)”
“I can’t help but want to dig Mike out and sing with you ……”
Li Tiezhu quietly said, “These people are all retarded, right? No wonder the people who like me at home aren’t too many, while overseas is overwhelming, and it’s been years since …… I don’t have an IQ generation gap with them, and they think I’m affectionate, it must be like this.”
Zheng Yanzi said, “I’m in favour of it!”
Qin Tao said, “Eh? Is there a welcome for me?”
Zheng Yanzi said, “There is! Three signs, one reads ‘Welcome Master Sow Caregiver,’ one has a painted pig’s head, and one reads ‘Wave! I want to hear you do stand-up comedy.’ How does that feel?”
Qin Tao: “Hammer le stand-up comedy, old me this is called comedy, advanced language arts!”
Afterwards, the airport side said that they hoped that Li Tiezhu would first give his fans an autograph and persuade them to leave. Li Tiezhu also agreed, after all, too many people are too chaotic, easy to have a security accident.
The three of Li Tiezhu signed to a small number of fans, and when they signed to a small white child, the child said, “Li! Do you guys really eat cat meat?”
The atmosphere was immediately awkward.
Li Tiezhu, however, was calm and let Jung Yeon Zi translate for him, saying, “We don’t eat cat meat, no one in China eats cat meat. This is a rumour, no matter who told you about this, you can’t believe him anymore! Why do you like me?”
The kid said, “My sister likes your songs, but I like everything you do in the wild, it’s just cool!”
Li Tiezhu said, “Including killing pigs?”
Kid: “Of course! I was so excited to watch, you can do just about anything.”
Li Tiezhu: “I’m afraid pigs don’t see it that way! Pigs are also life, so why should they be eaten? You Americans also eat pork, have you considered the feelings of pigs?”
Kid: “Pigs deserve to be eaten!”
Li Tiezhu: “What about cows? China has forbidden eating beef for thousands of years because cows are part of the family, but you eat beef, why are you so cruel?”
Kid: “Love Dongtelo ……”
Li Tiezhu: “Dogs are so cute, but we eat dogs, I’ve eaten them many times. Are you going to be scared? Then you know you westerners eat foie gras? Deliberately raising geese to fatty liver, a serious disease, and then eating their livers. And caviar, snails …… Orientals find it disgusting. Cub, I’m not going to go easy on you just because you’re a fan, you need to develop good values, what you don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s wrong, and what you’re used to may not be right.”
The cub could no longer speak, the cub’s sister smiled apologetically and said, “I’m sorry, Tony didn’t mean to offend you, he’s still young.”
Li Tiezhu also signed to her and said, “It’s because he’s still young that I’m telling him this, when he grows up, it won’t be necessary. For example, you, if I tell you now that Chinese people love peace, you must think that I just find a random excuse to try to pick you up, right?”
The kid’s sister was dumbfounded, what is this?
Li Tiezhu walked away and continued to sign autographs for his fans, he was never eloquent, it was just that the passive skills in the system had gone berserk once again.
After a simple signature, in Li Tiezhu’s persuasion and the security guard’s drive, the fans gradually dispersed, but …… the media again surrounded, and, after Li Tiezhu’s “scaring” the children’s things, the reporters’ questions are more pointed.
After all, to interview may not be all pro-Li Tiezhu media, most of them want to see him embarrassed, or to find ways to make him embarrassed.
“Li, is this programme of yours to spread Chinese culture around the world? A cultural invasion of other countries?”
“You are a newspaper? It’s really hard for me to imagine a reporter from a newspaper asking such a brain-dead question, and yes, you can report my words word for word. If there was no Chinese culture, your newspaper would not even exist, what kind of reporter would you be? Do you print your news on leaves or on parchment scrolls? Remember paper is a Chinese invention, along with movable type printing.”
“Aien Pella, do you feel any differently since you came to Rice? I mean within this airport.”
“Simply a lot of feelings, why is your international airport so shabby? Why is your food and drink so unpalatable? Why are your flight attendants so bad even if they are ugly? Why do you journalists have the right to block my interview without paying me?”
“Aha! Sassy oriental humour …… breaks the taste, why in China, a male star with your kind of looks can be red?”
“Te leaning can still be a general bucket, why can’t I be a star?”
“Oh, holy mother of God! I like the way you talk, you’re not Chinese at all, you’re simply as frank as you are towards the MiB.”
“That’s your prejudice, Chinese have always been so frank.”
“Is that so? Can you tell me who your most hated Rice star is?”
“Extraordinarily reliable.”
“Wow! Broken Child Fickert! Why do you hate Mr Total Bucket.”
“His haircut …… is a mouthful, it’s like a piece of sh*t poop.”
“Mistral Lee, may I ask, do you like Rice girls? I mean blonde white babes, they’re hot and sexy ……”
“I don’t like women with fox odour.”
“With perfume ……”
“Also has unusually long body hair, a face full of freckles, and after thirty she gets fat and becomes a pail waist ……”
“You’re going to offend a lot of MiB girls that way!”
“Isn’t it my blunt honesty that you guys like? I don’t think girls who aren’t hypocritical would mind me telling the truth at all, right? After all, the girls of Greater Miri are independent and strong, and aren’t brainwashed by you media.”
“One last question, Li, do you think there’s anything in the Milky Way that you, China, don’t possess? You can name a few more.”
“Name as many as you want?”
“Can.”
“Good! Firstly, bums, we haven’t seen them in China for years. Finally, we don’t have racial discrimination there, in my country minorities are always favoured, not the other way around. Because, there is a Chinese saying that ‘things are more expensive than they are rare’, and this minority includes crooked people.”
Li Tiezhu was on fire with a ferocious output.
In the end, the interview was terminated by Zhang Xiaomeng’s intervention, as he felt that Li Tiezhu had spoken too much, and might irritate the emotions of the people of Dao Mi.
Out of the airport, Zhang Xiaomeng took the group to the five-star hotel where they stayed, then bitterly said to Li Tiezhu:
“Tie Zhu ah! Master Li! I’m begging you, just forget about it at home, this is a country of rice, pay attention, be a bit more restrained, okay?”
Li Tiezhu was puzzled: “I’m not afraid at home, but I’m still scared in the land of the Yanks?”
Zhang Xiaomeng was speechless.
Li Tiezhu added: “Do you want me to follow those banana people and say that as soon as I get off the plane, I find that the air in the rice country smells sweeter than at home? Filled with the sweet smell of blood?”
Zhang Xiaomeng: “It’s not that, I’m just saying that there’s no need to jump into a dispute ……”
Li Tiezhu: “Then you’re wrong, it’s all about making things happen! Otherwise how can you be on fire? Have you forgotten how I became red? The audition to eat popsicles, the competition to tie the make-up artist, the national competition to sing the royal engine, I’ve never been afraid to stir up controversy, this is a good thing ah Meng!”
Zhang Xiaomeng: “Erm ……”
Li Tiezhu: “Besides, we represent our own country when we go abroad, can we bow our heads and admit defeat? Screw it! Those who like me like it, those who don’t like it f*ck off! I don’t care.”
Zheng Yan Zi said, “That’s right! Fear them my arse, even if we are careful, the media will still add fuel to the fire, Brother Meng, are you professional or not? I’ve been hacked by the media every year on Mi.com, you don’t know, every year people say I’m high on drugs. f*ck! I damn well said that Willie is a transsexual!”
Qin Tao said, “That’s not the way to put it, I’m afraid that the extreme Mi.com people will shoot us with guns.”
Zhang Xiaomeng said, “Right!”
Li Tiezhu was very rigid: “Right hammer right! Do you know how inaccurate ordinary people’s shooting is? Let me put it to you this way, a practitioner like Lao Zi can f*ck up three or four of them as long as he finds the right terrain. I learnt it from Wu Jing, and I’ve been practicing my shooting recently ……”
Qin Tao angrily said, “Then what if …… what if there are a hundred more people, taking off their trousers and showing their arses at you?”
Li Tiezhu immediately panicked: “This, this ……”