Loren faced the audience and concluded, “I think I know why we love Lee, he’s not like all Chinese, he’s the special one! He’s blunt and sharp, even more Western than Westerners. Okay, I see a live audience member would like to ask a question, and you, sir, who would you like to ask a question to?”
A bald man with one arm hanging off his head stood up, slightly shy and petulant: “I ……”
Li Tiezhu: “Austin?”
Bald man: “Aha! It’s the old man! You remember me?”
Li Tiezhu: “Of course I remember you, you were the first man to show his arse in front of me.”
Odin: “Is that so? That’s a real honour, if you’re interested ……”
Li Tiezhu: “Not really!”
Odin regretfully said, “I just want to ask you, what would you do if you met a zombie?”
Li Tiezhu: “Zombie? Of course it’s to try whether it’s good or not first, if it’s good then grab it, if it’s not good then throw it away.”
The whole audience was stunned.
The host Loren tried to link awkwardly, he thought Li Tiezhu didn’t understand what zombie meant: “Hey, Li, zombie is a kind of mutated monster in the film, not some small animal ……”
Li Tiezhu said to Loren, “I know zombies.”
Odin sat down with an excited look on his face and said to the small man with the exploding head next to him, “I told you so! I told you …… his philosophy is really the same as ours!”
Loren, speechless, called for another audience member.
This person was none other than the exploding head next to Ortin, the phoenix chick Camilla, who was a little nervous, clutching a thermos of soaked goji berries and trying to blink his doe-eyes:
“I I …… my name is Camilla. I want to ask Li, if the world ends, what kind of animals do you think we need to prepare for labour? Cows, horses, or donkeys, we have to take into account their feed and adaptability and so on ……”
Li Tiezhu: “Do you still need to ask? Of course it’s to catch zombies! Put them in shackles and work twenty-four hours a day, farming, iron working, logging, washing clothes, cooking ……”
Loren covers his face, why zombies again?
“Oh!!!”
Camilla’s cockatoo eyes suddenly let out a light, like opening the door to a new world, Yossi, it can still be like this! If we domesticate ten thousand obedient zombies in the apocalypse, wow ……
After sitting down, Camilla and Odin high-fived in celebration and muttered again.
“Simply godlike thinking! We couldn’t have come up with something this creative anyway, how about we call our new organisation the Ayn Pella faction!”
“Of course! What else could it be called? He’s the one God sent to guide us. Go back and get a statue of Li first, even though we are not many, the procedure must be formal and not desecrate Ai En Pera ……”
“Oh, Shet! What was that question you heard that sissy over there mention? Eastern culture helping Western society? The end is near and you’re asking sh*t like that.”
“Don’t mind them, this kind of sh*t usually destroys in the first wave.”
“What do you think about the greenhouse effect? What are you asking for such a good opportunity! Might as well let me ask.”
“He’s so hot, I’d even be willing to stir the pot with him if I wasn’t sacrificing my life for Doomsday! Which one am I down there ……”
“Hey! Sleepy Dragon, that’s a blasphemy against the faith.”
“Sorry little Phoenix, I just couldn’t help myself ……”
Camilla took a sip of the goji berry boiling water and glared at Ortin, seemingly sceptical of his piety. Aien Pella brings us light, and you want to sleep with him?
Li Tiezhu, who was answering the sand sculpture questions on the stage, inexplicably felt a coolness that quickly got better again, and he didn’t think much about it, and continued to answer the naive and playful questions of these grandchildren.
He thought that Odin and Camilla were already invincible, but he did not expect that there were even more naive people, whose ministries are these?
“Is there a moon in China?”
“Coincidentally, we have one too, it’s quite round.”
“Do pandas really know kung fu? Can you get me one?”
“They’re too kung fu, I can’t get one.”
“Why don’t Chinese men play football? Obviously your women’s teams are so strong?”
“Because the players on the women’s team don’t want to change sex.”
“Why do the north and south sticks fight each other? Aren’t they all Chinese? Can’t the Chinese officials control ……”
“They are Japanese.”
“Why are you called yellow, I don’t think you’re yellow at all.”
“That’s because it’s on the show, when it’s off it’ll be yellow.”
“Do you know the GC party?”
“I do, joined the party three months ago.”
“Oh, God! You’re actually in the GC party? That’s too cool, isn’t it?”
“Whoosh (Soso).”
“Are all you Chinese born with black hair?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, I thought it was the Party’s rule that your hair could only be black.”
“The Chinese eat everything, cannibalism?”
“Yue Dong people eat Hu Jian people.”
“You Chinese, how many people like you have cultivated to the Yuanying stage? What about the Jindan stage?”
“Hm? How do you know?”
“Read it on a web novel! You have so many Immortal Cultivators, why don’t you send them to rule the world? By the way, I want to cultivate immortality too!”
“This is a state secret, surely it won’t be leaked.”
Zheng Yan Zi and Qin Tao were stunned by the questioner, but Li Tie Zhu answered the question fluently, after all, there is no generation gap in everyone’s IQ, good communication, it was a happy one.
Happy education is good, look, how happy these grandchildren are!
Qin Tao looked at Li Tiezhu’s eyes filled with admiration, tart or you are more tart!
And Li Tiezhu’s smile began to gradually lack virtue.
Another MiGo asked, “Do you have aeroplanes in China? The kind that can fly in the sky.”
Li Tiezhu: “Is there such a thing? We came to Rice this time, we all swam from the Pacific Ocean and brought two months of dry food to get here.”
Another audience member: “But you guys can obviously fly with your swords.”
Li Tiezhu: “This was all guessed by you, what a wit, I can’t fool you.”
Host Loren could no longer watch and stopped the interaction with the audience, saying, “Sorry, I have to interrupt you guys for a bit because of the length of the programme. Next, let’s talk about something related to Fark Primitive ……”
After a little more chatting, the recording of the show ended.
Lee Tie Zhu was still a little bit in love with the show, it was hard to find such a lovely audience. On the contrary, Jung Yeonji had had enough, hell knows how hard she had to translate.
Two days later, when this show was aired, the ratings were pretty high, and a lot of people in the MIC said that their stomachs hurt from laughing. Part of the laughs came from the hosts and guests, but the vast majority of the laughs came from the sandy netizens and the brain-dead audience at the scene.
Soon, this programme was also transmitted back to the country, when the debate about whether Li Tiezhu had disgraced the country was in a tailspin.
After watching the programme, everyone said Li Tiezhu “for the country’s glory”! But any slightly normal star who went on this programme would be at a loss for words, right? Just look at Zheng Yan Zi and Qin Tao’s performance, but Li Tie Zhu was able to answer all the questions, which was simply too cute.
Especially when it comes to fooling those sand sculpted rice people, how do you look at Li Tiezhu is not good intention.
Well, now there are people in the country who jumped out to say that Li Tiezhu went to the rice country to humiliate the rice people, not friendly at all, not a little bit of big country temperament, no quality at all.
Of course more netizens feel it …… This is not quite cool? This all scold?
So, there are two extremes, the neck of all kinds of big V publicists surrounded Li Tiezhu, the water army followed by rushing the mountain. And above the jitterbug, it is a burst of praise forwarding comments three in a row, the central idea – column brother Sego!
After recording the programme, Li Tiezhu flew back to the country by plane that night.
Get off the plane, and was surrounded by a group of so-called called whore contraptions, non-compulsory interview Li Tiezhu.
Li Tiezhu sleepy, reluctantly accepted the interview, but these species asked the question to Li Tiezhu are stunned, this is more than the rice country people still sand sculpture questions, what is the sh*t head out of it?
What kind of sh*t brain came up with these questions?
“May I ask how do you feel about this trip abroad, beating and cursing people in front of the world, such behaviour discredits the whole country?”
“I beat up their people, they gave me money to record the show, the audience even sent me to the airport, go ask the people of Rice what they think of the stupid sh*t I beat up! Heart-stopping newspaper? Remember, Moe, never accept interviews from them in the future.”
“Li Tiezhu, you sold the programme to a foreign country, do you want to go to Rice to get a green card and settle down? Is it because you think the air in Rice is sweeter?”
“I’m a rural household with a homestead, understand? Southern Weekend, remember ah Meng!”
“When you were in Rice, you openly claimed on the programme that there are eunuchs in China and that China eats people, and you are a GC party, what are you trying to show? Are you maliciously smearing China? How much did the MIC pay you? Are you doing this to the motherland that gave birth to you and raised you?”
Li Tiezhu straightly scratched his head, “Do you stand up to the motherland that gave birth to you and raised you like this? Next.”
Another female reporter asked, “Why do you claim abroad that people eat offal? Don’t you know that this will make crooked people hate us even more?”
Li Tiezhu: “We are the 1.4 billion people in the country who drink the north-west wind, and people will say that you affect the circulation of ocean currents. Next!”
“It is said that you spent the night with a blonde blue-eyed foreign girl in Rice, may I ask if there is such a thing? Does Song Zhu’er know about it?”
“She doesn’t know, and neither do I.”
Zhang Xiaomeng tugged at Li Tiezhu, telling him to hurry up and leave the airport, there was no need to tangle with this group of prepared prostitutes. But Li Tiezhu was strong, and after breaking away from Zhang Xiaomeng, he stood in place with a mortar and pestle, thrusting his waist:
“Next!”
“Why do you want to record a variety show dedicated to pleasing crooked people? Is the domestic market not profitable enough? Or do you just want to please crooked people?”
“You’d better go ask the ones I beat up and see if they like pleasing me. Is there anything else to ask? What’s all the retreat? Old Wave this reporter, you are very brave, say, what do you want to ask.”
“Why did the MiB ask you to record the programme and give you a high notice fee? Is there any unknown secret in this?”
“Quietly tell you, they actually didn’t invite me to go on the programme, they invited me to …… dance salsa!”
“Huh?”
Li Tiezhu looked around, thinking that the rice country was enough of a clusterf*ck, not expecting to return to the country to encounter something even more amazing.
He sneered and asked Qin Tao, “Did you film it all?”
Qin Tao raised his mobile phone, “Filmed it, now shivering?”